Daily Prompt: Smell You Later

Daily Prompt: Smell You Later

Obsession

One whiff of Calvin Klein’s Obsession, and I am instantly transported to the early 90’s. It used to be an aroma synonymous with teen angst; the scent of first and unrequited love, the scent of endless tears cried into my pillow (where the smell of his Obsession would sometimes linger for days).

While walking through the grocery store, the scent would occasionally waft my way, bringing his blue eyes instantly to mind, that boy who I met when I was 12 years old while strolling through the mall with friends. I doodled his name thousands of times, then scribbled it out every time he made me cry.

As we grew older, we progressed from talking on the phone to meeting up at the mall, or on the playground, or at friends’ houses. The woodsy smell of his cologne swirling around us as we kissed.

At fifteen, I gave myself to him willingly, knowing he did not love me, but begging him silently to love me the way I loved him. He never did, but sometimes I felt like he was so close to being mine, if only I could try just a little harder, give just a little bit more.

Over the years we lost contact, but the scent always made me think of him, sometimes fondly, sometimes angrily.

Interestingly enough, not only does smell trigger memory but the reverse is also true. Several years ago, when he sent me a message on My Space (before Facebook) saying, Hey stranger, remember me? I swear I could almost smell Obsession.

He and I are friends now and we have put our past behind us. We were young and naive, neither one of us having any idea of how to deal with the adult situation we had put ourselves into at such a young age. We had strong feelings for each other but it was not adult love, it was more like teenage Obsession (pun intended).

Now that he and I are friends, any resentment and anger I had felt when that scent arose has been replaced. I smile when I smell it and I fondly think of that brief but memorable time in my life.

Daily Prompt: Never Again

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/08/07/daily-prompt-never-2/

The hockey rink was cold and the atmosphere was charged. It was my son’s first game played in the peewee division, the year body checking became fair game. My little baby, my ten year old first born son, picked the puck up in the corner and started skating it up the boards. All of a sudden, an enormous, gigantic hulk of a child rammed his entire body HARD against my tiny, sweet baby boy and took the puck.

My son, brushed the check off, not even losing his footing or falling, and skated after the puck. I, on the other hand did not take it so well. I jumped up, and yelled to my husband, “Go get him, NOW. We are DONE!” I am not ashamed to say, I think I may have even had tears in my eyes.

I do not remember if the team won or lost. All I remember is my son being checked for the first time ever, and the horror of watching another child hit mine.

As the players were filing out of the locker room, the coach looked over at me and said, “Good Game! See you next week.”

I can only imagine the look on my face as I earnestly replied, “No you won’t! We are NEVER coming back AGAIN!”

Eight years, and countless hockey games later with both my sons, I can look back at this moment and laugh! At the time, though, I truly thought, never again!

A to Z Daily Prompt

A to Z Daily prompt

A young girl ties her Doc Martens, and pulls on her flannel shirt, leaving it loosely hanging over her ripped up jeans. Backpack slung over her shoulder, she takes one quick look around before she opens the door and steps out.

Cars drive by, headlights bright, as she makes her way down the street. Darkness envelops her, and she hugs her flannel tighter around her thin shoulders attempting to block the cool, damp night air. Eyes straight ahead, she trudges along.

Fifteen is the worst age to be, teetering precariously between the brink of adulthood and end of her childhood. “Get good grades, be home early”. Ha! If only she had someone who cared about her grades, or whether or not she even CAME home.

“Just me and mom,” she thinks bitterly, recalling all the times she has gone to bed hungry and alone while her mother was out for days on end. Knowing her mother needs her, to clean up the mess, to cook the meager dinners they eat, almost causes her to turn around but still she trudges on.

Leaving is not something she wants to do, it’s something she HAS to do. Money might be a problem, but she has her stash of babysitting money shoved down deep in her backpack rolled into a pair of socks, and she is used to making do with little to nothing.

“No one will touch me again,” she vows silently to herself, recalling the sting of the slap she got from her mothers latest boyfriend for making too much noise cleaning up THEIR beer bottles. Okay, maybe she did clink the bottles together harder than necessary, but she was sick of cleaning up after and being bossed around by her mother’s flavor of the month. Perhaps she could have been quieter, but that was no reason for him to hit her. Quickening her pace, she feels excitement as the bus station comes into view.

“Ready or not here I come”, she thinks to herself as she boards the bus heading to her destination. She pops in a tape and puts on the headphones of her Walkman as she settles into her seat.

The bus ride is long and she finds herself nodding off. Urban landscapes speed by the window, and she feels her excitement building. Visions of life in the big city fill her head. Washington is a big state, but at last, she is almost there.

Xavier will be waiting for her when her bus arrives, she hasn’t seen him in years. “You can stay with me,” he assured her.

“Zero” by the Smashing Pumpkins is playing on her Walkman as she steps off the bus in Seattle, scanning the crowd for Xavier.

Party of Five reruns

I am sitting here watching Party of Five reruns on Oxygen. I really loved this show as a teenager, and I was really excited to find it. Ok, excited may be a bit of an understatement. I jumped up and down, and shrieked at the top of my lungs! Apparently I yelled so loud I woke my 18 year old son up, and he was on his way downstairs to save me.

Watching this show as an adult, I see it in a different perspective. Maybe I should do a blog just recapping all the episodes, kind of like a running commentary? Maybe someday!

They are still showing season one, I am so glad I caught this from the beginning. What really strikes me is the relationship between Julia and Justin! I was not a big fan of them when I first watched, and in later seasons, I was totally Team Griffin. But wow! As I am watching this now, all the smoldering looks, all the young yearning, all the sweet little touches, it is a pretty accurate portrayal of first love. Even now, almost twenty years later, I feel almost disloyal rooting for Julia and Justin! Pathetic? Maybe a bit, but this was a big part of my life!

When Party of Five debuted in September of 1994, I was at an awkward phase of my life. I was six months pregnant with my first child and had just started my senior year in high school. I still lived at home with my mom, and I remember making my boyfriend (who is now my husband) come over and watch it with me. I think I lived vicariously through the characters.

For whatever reasons, I welcomed the Salingers into my home every week. I laughed with them. I cried with them. I loved them.

I hope Party of Five finds a new audience in reruns. Maybe it will prompt the people at Sony to finally release the rest of the seasons on DVD, REAL DVD, not that manufactured on demand crap!

Lithium

July 21, 1992, a day that changed my life! The song, Lithium was released 21 years ago, today, and my mind became officially blown.

I was 16 years old and still hanging on to my hairbands, refusing to believe it was over, in denial that my aquanet hairspray was ruining the ozone layer. Those Skid Row and Poison ballads were the soundtrack for my first slow dance with a boy, my first kiss, and my first heartbreak. How could music possibly be more real, more heartfelt, more emotional, or more passionate than Sebastian Bach, belting out “Wasted Time”?

I had heard a few sprinklings of grunge on the radio, it just wasn’t my thing. And then… I heard Lithium. I wish I could remember where I was when I first heard it. I was probably in my room, doodling the name Danny on countless sheets of purple paper in bubble letters. Whatever I was doing, my world was about to change forever!

The beauty of Kurt Cobain’s voice as he mumbled the lyrics that spoke to my soul! The mellow contradiction of lyrics described my fluctuating emotions and hormones to a T! The harsher, screaming lyrics of the chorus demanded that I jump up and down and sing at the top of my lungs. My teenaged self could not have told you why it touched me so deeply, only that it did.

Looking back, I can see, that ONE song summed up a day in the life of a 16 year old better than any other, back then and still to this day. The mood swings, from sad and depressed, to I don’t give a f@*, to an almost manic, frenzied state, and back again to sad and mellow; that was how I felt almost every day of my adolescence! And finally, someone got it!

Thank you Nirvana, for opening my eyes, for giving me an outlet for all my raging emotions. Thank you, Kurt, thank you Krist, and thank you Dave for giving the world Lithium!